To the middle of my frustrated fears{OPEN}

[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

It wasn't a Hogsmeade Weekend, so by all rights Demelze shouldn't be wandering around Hogsmeade. But there she was... walking around. She didn't have anything else better to do that weekend, and even if she could get into loads of trouble, she never minded detention much. It was boring as anything, of course, but it was something she could deal with if she were to get in trouble. She wasn't going to do her homework anyway. That could definitely wait until later, even though she had two essays due tomorrow.

It was a brisk day for September. The sun was hidden behind the clouds and with the breeze the day was just the slightest bit cold. She pulled her hoodie the slightest bit tighter around her as she watched people scurry in and out. Despite the fact that it wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend the little village was still buzzing with people, and she’d decided against her school robes only seconds after she decided she was going to Hogsmeade. Schools robes got to be… well, annoying. Instead she was found in an oversized sweatshirt, a white t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of comfortable sneakers. As she continued walking she recounted her successes for the day. She’d had a rather interesting conversation earlier with a witch in Honeydukes, and another pretty good conversation with her server in TheThree Broomsticks when she stopped in for lunch. She stopped by Zonko's to pick up a few things that would lighten up her weekdays should she find herself bored. Luckily that was her biggest bag, so everything else fit easily inside. She carried her bag around as she looked for any stops she'd missed on her short day trip to Hogsmeade. She smiled as she looked at the Hogs Head. It was one of the seediest pubs she'd ever seen, but she often enjoyed the company she found in there. Well, okay, perhaps enjoy was a strong word. She liked the fact that she met so many interesting people. She was very much a people person, and she loved hearing other people's stories, particularly if they were sad. Every single bone in her body was full of sympathy for other people. A lot of people in the Hogs Head had surprisingly hard lives, and were surprisingly willing to open up for how incredibly mean they seemed.

In a split second decision she decided she couldn’t leave without at least stepping into the shady pub and seeing if anyone she’d spoken to before was inside. In a few strides she was at the door and pushed it open gently, surveying the scene before her. The pub was busy for an afternoon, which didn’t really surprise Demi much. Pubs always seemed to be busy – it didn’t matter what time of day it was. There were a lot of older gentlemen who seemed to have no interest in anyone but themselves. Demelza tended to avoid those people. She only approached approachable people, and a lot of the people at the bar were definitely unapproachable. Her face fell slightly as she looked around for an empty table. She didn’t see any right in the front, so she wandered a little further into the back. She didn’t see any completely vacant tables, and she’d been about to give up her search when her eyes glanced over a certain table for the second time. She blinked a few times, tilting her head slightly before it dawned on her who she was looking at – Hermione! Hermione Granger. She couldn’t say that she knew the girl particularly well, or at all really, but she knew her face. And as Demelza stared at her, taking in more of her face she realized that Hermione was very much not okay. She frowned before approaching the table.

”Hermione. Merlin, I almost didn’t recognize you. Are you okay? she asked as she approached. She sat down at the table. She didn’t know if Hermione wanted company, but she would give it to her anyway. If Hermione wanted her to leave she could say so. Until then, she ‘d stay right where she was.

[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

Demelza watched as Hermione lifted her face and was utterly shocked by what she saw. Her eyes were red, her tears incredibly cheek-stained, and the excuse that fell out of her mouth without a second thought was nothing like what she would have expected. Demelza’s face contorted into an expression that screamed ‘you can’t be serious,’ and she tilted her head slightly. Had Hermione even heard herself? Did she even care? She seemed to be almost in a state of shock. Demelza frowned slightly. She opened her mouth to say that exams weren’t anywhere near being here, but quickly decided on another option.
”You are obviously not fine, Hermione,” she said with a small frown.

Hermione Granger, before the war, would have never allowed an excuse such as that to pass her lips. Especially without asecond thought. She would have known exactly when exams were and she probably would have already started studying at least a little. But this Hermione… After the war Hermione was nothing but a shell. She seemed distant, lost, sad, confused. Above all she seemed hurt. This woman who sat before her was nothing like the Hermione Granger that used to bounce around the castles before the war, before all of the terrible things that happened. Hermione had missed the dark times at Hogwarts, but that was because she was out destroying Horcruxes with Harry. The dark times were horrible, scarring, terrifying but… what had she seen? What had she gone through that could utterly tear her apart like this? It tugged at Demelza’s heart. She hated seeing people unhappy. Her biggest wish was to be happy, to travel, to feel free, and she wished nothing but the same for other people. She sympathized with everyone, but particularly with people who were sad.

”What happened, Hermione? You can talk to me,” her voice was soft and full of caring as her eyes searched the broken girl’s face once more. And that’s exactly what Hermione Granger looked like – broken. A woman walked over to their table to take an order and Demelza quickly ordered a butterbeer before looking back to Hermione and waiting expectantly, hoping the girl would tell her what was troubling her so terribly. She wasn’t a gossiper. Whatever it was, if Hermione wanted it to stay a secret Demelza would make sure it did.

[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

Hermione's reaction to her question was the last one Demelza would have ever expected. The words may not have been so completely random. She didn't really know Demelza very well, but the way the words had come out... that was what caught her completely off-guard. Merlin, this girl wasn't anything like the Hermione that she used to know. Really? Apparently Hermione had realized what she'd said, too, judging by the looks on her face. Demelza had been about to answer the question when the slightest bit of the old Hermione showed through. She’d called what she said uncalled for, which was precisely what it was, and Demelza shrugged lightly at her half-apology.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, accepting what little of an apology it had been with no hesitation. Whatever was bothering Hermione was obviously getting at her very core. Demelza had done nothing wrong and she knew that, but she was still happy that Hermione had at least realized her mistake. She then brushed off whatever it was as stress, and while Demelza would buy that Hermione was stressed. How could you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and expect to be okay when its finally lifted? It seemed like an impossible task. She’d probably seen so much, felt so much… Demelza couldn’t even begin to imagine what happened. But still… she doubted that stress had turned Hermione into this complete opposite of the person she once was, so she’d continue pushing, and hope that in the process maybe she could help Hermione.

“What’s stressing you out?” she asked. She was sure the better question would have been – what isn’t stressing you out. That likely would have been much easier to answer, but what wasn’t stressing her out didn’t matter to Demelza. Demelza was interested in getting to the bottom of what had completely morphed her into the person she was now.

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[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

Hermione actually apologized which made Demelza feel the slightest bit better. At least she hadn't completely lost the entirety of herself. The old Hermione was in there somewhere. She had to be. Demelza just figured the old Hermione was buried under hurt and pain and memories that she couldn't forget. Demelza knew too well that the battle had changed most. She'd been changed by the dark times at Hogwarts, but she wouldn't let it show. She firmly believed that life was 10% what happens to you and 90% how you handled it, and she considered herself very good at handling anything that came her way. She considered it a gift from her parents.

Hermione explained that she just wasn't feeling very much like herself, and Demelza could understand that. She certainly didn't seem like herself, that was for certain, but Demelza remained quiet, waiting for Hermione to really delve into whatever it was that was plaguing her so. Alas, she did the exact opposite of what Demelza was hoping for and said that everything was stressing her out and school was the only thing that hadn't been was school. Demelza nodded along before inhaling and letting out a soft sigh before her eyes found Hermione's face. She stared at the girl for a moment, making a decision.

"Well do you wanna talk about... the everything?" It was a simple question, and she was almost sure that Hermione would say no, but she asked anyway. She didn't care what wasn't stressing Hermione. She wanted to help, and she couldn't help Hermione unless she got to the bottom of what was bothering her, and then she remembered something. Hermione Granger had like Ron Weasley for the longest time. Neither of them ever acknowledged it, but they totally liked each other.

"Is it Ron?" she asked, a clam, sad look in her eyes. She wasn't if she'd been right or not, but she'd likely just keep asking questions until she found out. Or, well, she'd try at least.

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[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

Demelza watched carefully as Hermione practically subconsciously tugged her sleeves, denying that she wanted to talk about ‘the everything’ that had been stressing her out. Demelza’s eyes were trained on the spot where she’d been tugging, and Demelza wondered what she could be hiding. Had her arm been injured or burned? Had Hermione begun cutting herself because she was in some sort of depression? Demelza certainly hoped not. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, but she said nothing on matter as she lifted her eyes to once more meet Hermione’s. She seemed intent on holding Demelza’s gaze, her eyes staring intently. Demelza didn’t mind so much though. It might have creeped her out a little, but not terribly.

”Well alright then, if you’re sure,” Demelza said before shrugging and taking another sip of her butterbeer. Hermione seemed to debate with herself slightly on whether or not she wanted to tell Demelza about whether or not whatever had changed her had to do with Ron. Demelza figured it had to have something to do with him, but the tugging at her sleeves caused Demelza to think that it was something much more. It had been the war. It had been whatever she saw on the battlefield, whatever happened to her out there, while she was facing Voldemort and hunting horcruxes.

Demelza wondered if she’d heard stories about what it was like while they were gone, while the Death Eaters had control of the school, before McGonagall took the school back. She wondered if she’d heard the stories about what it was like to be a muggleborn or half-blood then. She’d not bring up those times simply because she didn’t dare speak of them. The memories of those days made her sad, and she didn’t like to be sad, so she chose not to think about the bad things that had happened to her. It was a useless waste of time.

She listened as Hermione spoke up and said that naturally Ron had something to do with it. Demelza smirked, but then as the list grew and grew, Demelza’s face fell more and more. That was practically her entire group of friends.

”What’s going on? They like ignoring you or something?” Demelza questioned before glancing around the pub, to see if any of the others had joined her. That was something that should have stuck out to Demelza from the very beginning. Hermione was alone in the pub. Forget the fact that she was crying her eyes out. She’d been alone. Where were her best friends? Where were the people she’d come to know and love? The people who Demelza was sure were like family to her now? It really should have dawned on her earlier, and she wasn’t sure why it didn’t. Demelza didn’t like the fact that Hermione’s friends were all gone. She didn’t like the fact that they weren’t there with her. It meant that either Hermione was up to no good, or that her friends really had abandon her, for lack of a better term. And that wasn’t a very brave or kind thing to do.

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[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

Demelza listened as Hermione began confiding about the issues she had with each of her friends. Truth be told it broke Demelza's heart that her best friends were putting her in such a position. She thought it was rude and awful and unnecessary. She felt like.... she felt like everyone needed a friend in times like this, especially Hermione. She'd seen the worst of it, Demelza was sure. No matter what those here at Hogwarts had seen she knew Hermione had seen much worse. She didn't know the extent of the mental scarring that the last year had on Hermione. She didn't even know if there was any mental scarring, though it certainly wouldn't surprise her, but she knew that Hermione was going through some things. Very obviously she was going through some things and the fact that her best friends weren't there for her made her so incredibly... angry with them, and sad for Hermione.

"I'm really sorry Hermione. That's... that's really rotten," she said with her brows knitted in concern. It wasn't right for Neville and Harry and Ron to just abandon her. She understood that other people might have their own issues to work out, but to just completely not make time for someone, that did not sit well with her. Perhaps it was because she was a natural helper, and wanted to help anyone she could. Hearing that other people, people who were supposedly Hermione's friends, weren't doing what they could to be there for her really rankled her.

"That's not okay, Hermione. It's not okay that they can just abandon you like that. You don't deserve that," she said before taking another sip of her butterbeer. She wasn't really sure what advice she could possibly give to the girl. She'd never been in this kind of situation before.

"Have you tried talking about it? Have you tried telling them that you don't want to feel... abandoned? That you don't like being alone? I mean space is one thing, but sitting here crying into your soup by yourself? That's a little different than giving them space... no offense. I just feel like they should be here for you," she said with a small shrug, and she meant her words. Friends were supposed to be there for you even in your darkest times, and Hermione was clearly going through a dark time whether she wanted to admit it or not, and it seemed like her friends were nowhere to be found. What kind of friendship was that?

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[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

Hermione admitted that she wasn’t in the best position, but justified that they’d all been through hell. While Demelza had wanted to point out that, even though they’d all been through hell Hermione was still trying to be there for them in her own way, she refrained. Hermione did have a point. The entire lot of them had been through things that she couldn’t quite understand, couldn’t quite grasp, but did that really give them the right to abandon her? Demelza wasn’t so sure. Still, Hermione continued to try and justify their actions, but who she was justifying them for, Demelza was unsure. It seemed to her that Hermione was trying more to convince herself than Demelza. She said that she wasn’t being abandoned, and that the others were simply trying to get their life back. That too, was understandable, but it felt the slightest bit unfair to let Hermione lose her social life (and possibly sanity, judging by the state of things) in the process.

”That’s understandable, I suppose.” was all she managed to say for now, but she felt like… at least they were getting somewhere, right? Right. Hermione was at least talking about what was bothering her. Demelza was a sympathizer. She adored hearing people’s stories, and doing whatever she could to help them, so she certainly considered this a step forward in progress. And then she continued to spill about what was bothering her. She said Harry and Neville wouldn’t even look at her, and that… that Ron said he hated her? What? That was absurd. Anyone with guys could see Ron Weasley oggling over Hermione at the Gryffindor table. He practically drooled over her… how could he hate her? And yet still, somehow, she knew Hermione’s words were true. She certainly wouldn’t make them up.

”That’s really rubbish, Hermione. And like… it’s good that you’ve given them their space and all, but.-” Demelza had been trying to say something, but then Hermione burst into tears. Demelza’s eyes widened slightly as she scooted around the booth table and put an arm around the girl and hugged her gently.

”Don’t cry, Hermione. It’ll all be okay. You’ll get Ron to come around, and Harry, and the rest of them,” she said as she brought a hand to the girls back and tried to comfort her the best she could. She hadn’t expected her to start crying again, though she wasn’t sure why. She should have expected it, but she didn’t, Still, she’d try to comfort her the best she could, ”I know it all seems really rubbish now, but it’ll get better. It always gets better.”

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[DEMELZA GRACE ROBINS]

Demelza listened as Hermione once again said that she was fine, and she scrunched her face toward her in disbelief. Really? She was really going to try and pass off that she was fine? Demelza let out a sigh and removed her arm from around the girl, staring at her for a moment from beside her as she touched her fingers to her cheeks, as if to see if she were crying. Did she not notice? Merlin this was so much worse than she thought. She stared at Hermione slightly flabbergasted and unsure of what to say. She said she knew things would get better, and that she was fine once more, but did she really believe that? Did she really honestly believe she was okay? Did she really honestly believe that she was okay? Demelza didn’t quite think so. Not one bit. Not at all.

”Hermione, you do realize that if you’re randomly bursting out into tears and don’t even realize that you’re… well, definitely not okay? Maybe you need to see some sort of counselor or something. I mean, that’s not okay or normal. I know you’re sad, but your heart doesn’t deserve that kind of burden,” she said looking at the girl. She reached a hand over and grabbed the butterbeer she’d ordered earlier and took a sip. It was more giving her something to do rather than just sit there. She wasn’t sure what advice she could possibly offer the girl sitting before her. Truth be told a counselor seemed like a pretty good idea. Hermione could go to muggle London or something, talk to someone there. Maybe they could give her better advice.

She let out another sigh before looking Hermione. ”You have to talk to someone. I don’t know whether it’s Harry or Ron or Neville or Luna, but you have to say something to someone. You can give them their space all you want, but you can’t just give up your needs for other people,” Demelza said a little more seriously. She knew Hermione thought by giving them their space that she was doing what was right for them, but was she really? Was it really fair for her to give up so much for her friends? To be so sad because they’re ignoring her and say they hate her? Demelza didn’t think so, and whether Hermione thought they were doing it purposely or not was pointless. It didn’t matter if it was on purpose or by accident, it just mattered that it was happening.

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