Fair-Weather Friend // Theo & Vivian

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Vivian stood in the Owlery, turning over an unopened letter in her hands. She never received any kind of post, so when an owl had flown over to her that morning at breakfast, it had been a surprise. The only family Vivian had were her mum and step-dad, and needless to say they didn't correspond much. She didn't have any friends outside of Hogwarts (or any friends generally), so there was simply no one to send letters to. She hadn't known what to expect when she received the letter, and still didn't. She hadn't opened it. She had thought about what it could be, a million ideas running through her mind, but really she had no clue. Something made her not want to open the letter, and the feelings it had sparked were uncomfortable. Vivian wasn't accustomed to feeling anything (a very extreme, but effective, coping mechanism). She didn't like that this letter sparked something out of the ordinary. Vivian wasn't a robot; she could feel, she just didn't.

Vivian was alone, which in itself was a very unusual thing. Usually Vivian always wanted someone to entertain her, or else she would get bored. But today Vivian was glad of the solitude. She was debating whether or not to send the letter back, unopened. That would send a clear message:"Leave me alone." But she was also curious about the contents, and there was always a chance it was something she needed to know.

Vivian turned as she heard footsteps on the Owlery stairs, and had only just placed the letter out of site when Theodore Nott walked in.

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

It had been a good few days. It had been a great few days, actually. Theo made his way toward the owlery with a letter in hand. It was a letter he'd been meaning to right for a very long time. He'd written it a thousand times over and over in his head, but now the words were actually on paper. He had every intention of sending the letter, finally, after all these years.

In his hand he held a letter to Rabastan Lestrange. He knew the risks of the letter he was carrying, and he knew even greater the risk what might happen if it ended up in the wrong hands. Not only for himself, but also for his father... and the elder Nott. If the letter was found by the wrong hands he could be ripped out of Hogwarts and sentenced to Azkaban, but only after being questioned about the whereabouts of Rabastan Lestrange. He didn't know where Lestrange was, to be honest, so he wasn't sure how an owl would know. Maybe sending this letter was a bad idea. Maybe it was impossible to begin with.

But by the time he'd encountered that possibility he was already in the owlery, and someone he'd never expected to find the person who was before him. He grinned at her, his eyebrows furrowing in a mixture of both confusion and amusement.

"Hey Viv," he grinned before placing the letter he'd been holding into his jean pocket. "You're writing someone?" Vivian never got mail, and after he heard the story of what her mother and step-father had done to her that made a ton of sense to him. He also didn't know who she could be writing to, but perhaps she had some kind of correspondence outside of Hogwarts.

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Vivian saw Theo shoving a letter into his pocket, and thought that she must not be the only one who didn't want to discuss their correspondence.
"No," she said, simply. She didn't offer any other explanation, and she was sure Theo wouldn't ask for any. Vivian didn't care if Theo was confused, or if his imagination ran wild as to what she was doing in the Owlery (not that there were that many possible reasons). Vivian never felt the need to explain or excuse herself. She just was, and if someone had a problem, it was theirs. And besides, she had told the truth; she wasn't writing to anyone. Whether she decided to open the letter, or just send it back, she wasn't writing to anybody.

Vivian just didn't want to discuss the letter, because it was personal, and because she wasn't feeling too impressed with Theo at the moment. A while ago, Vivian had kissed Theo in the dungeons. At the time he had been free and single... the problem was that people weren't rational when it came to jealousy. Daphne Greengrass, the girl Theo had been spending some time with, and later gotten together with (Vivian was still hazy on the facts about that, but it was after she had kissed him, mind) heard about the kiss, and went nuts. She had found Vivian, and... well, attacked her. That was the only word for it. The fact that Vivian had come off better was the only thing that had kept her from being seriously pissed off about the whole thing.

The bruises on her cheek and ribs had almost completely healed, and weren't noticeable any more. Vivian had found Theo after his 'girlfriend' had attacked her, and told him what had happened. After that, she knew, he had gone to find her. Because, for some, unknown reason, he still wanted to be around the psycho. And Vivian hadn't seen him since then.

That, to her, didn't bode well. The longer she went without seeing Theo, the more she started to think that he had gotten together with Daphne. Even after what Daphne had done to Vivian, his supposed 'friend'. She wonder if that had even been a factor.

Vivian didn't speak, she just looked at Theo, who seemed to think nothing was wrong. That only confirmed what she thought; that Theo was in happy, loved up land, and thought everything was peaches and cream. Who was that friend he had had, blonde, beautiful, got attacked by his current bitch... oh yeah, her!

But she knew that the look on her face would have him wising up pretty quickly.

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Vivian's answer was simple and short, as always, and Theo let out a small chuckle at her answer. He'd been about to respond until he saw the look on her face. He furrowed his brows slightly in confusion. She was upset about something, but what? How could she be mad? He hadn't even seen her since!... Oh. That was such rubbish! She couldn't be mad at him for not being around! It wasn't completely his fault. He'd been... busy. Moping, playing Quidditch, and... fixing things, with Daphne. And then spending time... with Daphne. He let out a small sigh, knowing Daphne was likely mad about him not being around, and worse than that she'd probably be even more angry when he found out what happened, what he'd been doing.

But for her to be mad at him wasn't really fair. If she'd gotten a boyfriend and started spending time with him he'd not be mad at her for it. He'd be happy for her. But he knew it wouldn't work that way with Vivian. He was kind of her only friend at school, really, so he knew that his not being around probably wasn't very fun for her. But... his happiness mattered to him, too. So they stood there in the first awkward silence in quite a long time as Theo conjured up what he could possibly say. There'd be no letting her down easy with this one. He'd just have to tell her. He knew she was waiting for an explanation of some kind, and he'd not lie to her even if he knew she wouldn't react well to what he was going to say.

"I made up with Daphne," he said simply, his eyes finally lifting from the ground before meeting hers. He didn't know what say next, and he hadn't a clue as to how to expect her to react. He'd hoped she'd be happy for him. She knew how badly he wanted things to work out, but there was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him Vivian would not be acting that way. He tried to mentally prepare himself for the worst, but he didn't even know what that might be, so he let the silence fall around them, both of them seemingly ignoring their reason for coming to the owlery in the first place.

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Theo was unwilling to meet her gaze, so obviously he wasn't totally oblivious. He must know that how he'd been acting wasn't right... mustn't he? Could he really think that ignoring his friend in favour of a new girl was right? Or did he not see that, because he didn't even think about it? Had he forgotten her completely?

Theo said that he had made up with Daphne, which was stating the obvious at this point. Vivian snorted, and looked away, shaking her head. "Let me guess, 'The'," she said, using the stupid nickname she had heard Daphne calling him, and managing to put a lot of derision into that one syllable (but really, it was stupid; 'Theo' was already a nickname!). "You went and found Daphne Greengrass, and apologised for a kiss that happened, oh, I don't know, about a week before you two had anything going on, besides a slight increase in the amount of conversations you had? And you told her how it was so terrible, and how you hated it, and how the nasty Veela made you," Vivian was looking straight at Theo now, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

Sure, that second kiss Theo hadn't liked one bit. Well, surprise, 'The', you weren't meant to! That wasn't a kiss, that was a point! But there had been a kiss before that, more playful and of little consequence, just Vivian being Vivian, teasing her friend. And Theo hadn't seemed to mind that one quite so much.

"Basically you sold out your friend for the approval of that psycho," she said, getting to the point. "Did the fact that she attacked me come into it, at all? Did you even mention it? Did you even care?- Leave!" at that moment a Ravenclaw first year had walked into the Owlery, but at Vivian's word he left hurriedly, looking terrified.

Considering Theo hadn't bothered to come and find her in almost a week, she thought it more than likely that he hadn't mentioned her at all. She obviously wasn't anywhere on his mind.

People called Vivian a psycho, for something that wasn't even her fault. But she wasn't the one going around attacking people for no good reason... based off of what, gossip? If you couldn't control yourself out in the world, go lock yourself in a nunnery. And so Vivian had been attacked, and yet Daphne came across as the 'victim'. Theo ran and apologised to Daphne. Vivian had bloody well been attacked because of him, come away with actual bruises, and she was the one left in the dust? 'Thanks for the memories, see you around, don't let the door hit you on the arse on your way out'?

Vivian didn't need that shit. She and Theo had been friends for years, but she didn't need a friend that dropped her at the merest hint of a girl liking him. Vivian might be a lot of things, but she wasn't disloyal enough to do that, and she wasn't cowardly enough to physically attack someone the way Daphne had. So Vivian wasn't too impressed with Theo, or who he'd chosen to throw her over for; he really wasn't holding up too well when it came to her good opinion. "Screw you, Theo," she said, more quietly now, "I don't need this. I don't need you." She glared at him, determined that he know just how much she didn't care about all this, just how hurt she wasn't...

Did he think she would cry if he stopped being friends with her? Boo-hoo, nobody likes me? Big deal. She'd get over it just fine. She didn't need anyone.

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Theo's eyes narrowed at the girl as she began speaking, her tone a full mix of malice and mockery. He listened to her words as she explained his making up with Daphne as it were wrong, as if he were the one in the wrong for going after what he wanted. That was completely bullshit! And her use of emphasis on certain words had his blood boiling, especially when she said 'the nasty veela made you.'

"Vivian I've never called you a bloody veela," the words left his mouth like venom he wanted to be rid of. He couldn't believe this was happening. How she could have the audacity to stand there and speak of his getting together with Daphne with such contempt. She was treating it like a some sort of bloody game, like he acted like some sort of mindless child when he was around Daphne. Which wasn't true in the slightest! He was completely aware of what he was doing when he was with Daphne. Just because he became a bit more romantic didn't mean he lost his mind. And he didn't act like some wounded puppy either. His jaw clenched as his mind continued to reel from her words. Was she really going to pull this? After all that he'd put up with? He finally gets a steady girlfriend and she thinks it's wrong?! Yes, they'd fought. Yes, it had been horrible, but Theo refused to choose one over the other. He thought he could live peacefully with both of them.

Apparently he was wrong.

And then she began speaking once more, and those words hurt more than they angered him. His mouth fell open slightly for only a second as his eyes widened. Was she really considering herself the injured party?! Really?! She shouted at someone to leave and for a brief moment Theo thought he'd been talking to her, but he turned around to see a Ravenclaw half terrified, practically running from the room. He turned back to Vivian, his eyes narrowing once more. She really thought he'd just forget about her, didn't she? He really thought he'd just not care about her anymore now that he had a girlfriend? Why are women so bloody insane!?

"Of course it came into it, Vivian! Of course I bloody cared! I told her she should have come to me first! Then maybe this whole thing could have been avoided!" he said, his jaw clenching once more as soon as he was done speaking. An angry silence fell over the pair of them as both of their thoughts continued to turn. He felt torn once more, but this time it was between Vivian and himself. He was astonished that she could be angry with him the moment he's finally happy. And then something clicked in his head, and his anger was at its bursting point. But before he could say anything Vivian spoke again. Screw him? She didn't need him?! That was it. Completely.

"Fine by me!" he shouted, turning to go towards the door. He stopped only seconds later to turn around, looking over his shoulder, a dangerous look in his eyes. "I'm sorry you're so desperate for someone to entertain you that you couldn't stand me not being around for a week." In the grand scheme of things a week wasn't a long time. He was sure he and Vivian had gone longer than that with speaking during the course of their friendship. He knew they had, even if it was only over break. Vivian was a good friend to him, and he knew he was a good friend to her. He was pretty much her only friend, so she could stand there and pretend that it didn't matter if they threw away their friendship, but he knew it would. The fact that she was angry he hadn't been around was proof enough for that. He'd thought in the dueling room they'd put this entire mess behind him. He thought he was free to do what he wanted with Daphne. She told him to go find her.

And now that he'd listened she was pissed? He was there for her. He made her feel better. Not just in the potions room but when she broke down, when he found out about her parents. He comforted her after that damn kiss that started all of this, and how was all of that repayed? How was putting up with her lack of emotions, her lack of understanding why people who had emotions behaved repaid? Oh yeah, by making him seem like a horrible person for getting a girlfriend?! What?!

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Vivian watched at Theo grew angrier and angrier with every word she spoke. And when he replied, she just knew he didn't get it. Not one bit. So he hadn't called a 'Veela'... was she supposed to thank him, for that? How kind of him, to not use what she was as in insult against her. Truly, that was the sign of a real friend. When they didn't use your species as a derogatory comment. Honestly, how could she ask for anything more?

And then he said that of course she had come into it.. he had said Daphne should have come to him first. Vivian let out a laugh, but if she was honest with herself, it was more bravado than anything. She ran a hand through her hair, before answering, "Really, Theo? How good of you. I'm sure she won't dare try to beat me up again. You know, since you obviously made it clear how much you don't want that to happen..." again, her voice dripped with sarcasm. She knew that that would anger Theo more, but she couldn't help it.

Vivian didn't care if Theo was with Daphne. Well, okay, she wasn't her favourite person, and she didn't think Daphne was good enough for Theo (correction; she hadn't thought she was good enough for him. Now, she thought, they deserved each other). But if Theo wanted to be with her, he could go right on ahead. It didn't affect her, so he could do what he wanted. None of her business.

Except Daphne had made it Vivian's business. Vivian hadn't been trying to get herself involved in their relationship, and Daphne had dragged her in by the hair. And that had made it painfully obvious that it did affect her. Because when it came time for Theo to chose between the two of them, he chose a girl over someone he'd been friends with pretty much since their first year at Hogwarts together.

Vivian often got the impression that Theo thought he was doing her a favour by being friends with her. Like just for deigning to be her friend, and putting up with her, she owed him something. She thought maybe he saw her as something to be tolerated, and this conversation was confirming that. Because the look on Theo's face was easy to read; 'how dare she?' How dare she have feelings (such as they were) about all this. How dare she cause a problem for him. Clearly Vivian wasn't entitled to the same things Daphne Greengrass was. Such as feelings, if she wanted them, or maybe even an opinion.

Theo turned to leave, and Vivian kept her face stony as he did so. She didn't care. She wouldn't care. Theo thought that she needed him, because he was pretty much her only friend. Because he was the only person good enough to tolerate her. She wanted to show him he was wrong, she didn't need him. She didn't need his kind of 'friendship'. One that was never on a level playing field, one that was so fickle as to be taken away like that. And then Theo turned around,

"I'm sorry you're so desperate for someone to entertain you that you couldn't stand me not being around for a week."

[/color][/i]

His words hit her harder than she would have expected, because they weren't all that vicious, when you looked at it objectively. But they were, because he was talking to her just like everyone else. Because Vivian always needed someone around. Because Vivian was always bored. Because Vivian was an emotionless shell of a person.

She saw the look in his eyes, a dangerous anger she had seen there before. Part of her wished he would rage at her, lash out and hit her, because that at least she knew how to handle. But that look made her realise that this was it. Theo was going to leave, and he'd probably never come back. He'd made his choice. he wouldn't tolerate her any more.

Vivian had never felt more empty in her whole life. On the desk behind her, out of site, lay an unopened letter from her mother and step-father, the people who had abused her until she had become this 'shell' that Theo seemed to apparently hate. Theo had been her only friend, and even he saw that as a sort of 'favour'. Because really, who would want to be friends with her? And now Theo was walking away, because the merest hint of a relationship with someone else gave him more happiness than years of friendship with Vivian. That was what Vivian was worth. She was worthless, and in the end she knew, all her beauty came to nothing. Because she had nothing. Not for the first time, she just couldn't see the point of anything.

"Go on then," she said, quietly. When Theo left, she would drop that letter out the window of the Owlery. She wouldn't read it.

People called her the walking dead, but Vivian had never truly felt dead or empty until now.

[/blockquote]

note ;; poor Vivian, haha, Theo is being a stubborn ass >.<
[/size][/justify]

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Vivian's sarcasm was getting the best of her today and it was putting Theo in the foulest mood he was sure he'd ever been in when it involved her. She'd pissed him off before, sure, just like he knew he'd probably pissed her off before. But today... today was completely different. The snakes had their fangs out and the venom was practically drowning them in the room they stood in.

"She won't come after you!" Theo shouted slightly, his eyes narrowing until they were only slits. But by then he was at the door, ready to just pick up and walk away from all of this. Vivian had been a good friend to him over the years, and he generally did care about her and her well-being. That's why he'd become so shaken when he found out about her parents and what they'd done, why he'd become infuriated with the fact that they could treat someone so horribly with no apparent reason. And then another silence began suffocated them as Theo struck with another blow, which he knew was low. He'd slightly regretted the words right after saying them, but Vivian was pushing all the wrong buttons today and he was in no mood. But then the look in Vivian's eyes changed, fell. And the silence that surrounded them changed too.

Theo's eyes remained narrow, unsure of what in Merlin's name she was up to. She was the one who'd told him to leave. And she certainly seemed to mean it. She said she didn't need him, so what was this? He swallowed slightly, waiting, wondering if she would speak, if she would bother to stop him. If she let him leave he knew there would be no going back. He knew that this would be it. Because if he left Vivian would want nothing to do with him. Was he really willing to throw their friendship away over a stupid argument such as this? No, not particularly. His face softened slightly as his thoughts continued to grow. And then Vivian spoke, her voice quiet and sad. Sadness was one thing Theo had only seen Vivian experience once, and it was awful. She started crying and would not stop, and Theo wondered if that were to happen if he left this time, like last time they argued.

Last time it was over something completely different. This time would it be about him? No, there would be no tears, no emotion, no regret. Just anger and poisonous thoughts. That's all that seemed to be filling the room, and somehow Theo found himself a little let down by her answer. She was really just going to let him leave? Even though they both knew what it would mean for them? She just... didn't care? Why should that surprise him....Vivian really didn't care about anything, and she was making that blatantly clear.

"So that's it then? I'm just going to walk away and what? We're never going to speak to each other again? All over something so stupid. And I don't mean Daphne. She's not stupid. But this whole... stupid argument is," Theo said, his eyes still narrowed and his jaw still clenched slightly. But when he spoke next his his voice came out softer, more emotional. Well, it sounded less angry. "Don't make me make this choice, Vivian. You know I don't want to."

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Vivian had expected Theo to just walk straight out, but he didn't. Instead he turned around, and Vivian thought he was about to yell another insult. Maybe he just wanted to drag this out. Or maybe he didn't really want to leave.

He said that this whole thing was stupid (not Daphne, mind; he took care to let her know that it wasn't dear Daphne who was being stupid), and a stupid thing to throw their friendship away over. Vivian didn't want to throw their friendship away, but she thought the argument was far from stupid. She thought it went straight to the core of their whole friendship, and everything it was based on. She thought it went right to the heart of what Theo thought about her.

"So my... my..." she frowned, not particularly wanting to use the word, but not being able to find another, "my feelings are 'stupid' to you?" That was Theo's problem. Well, one of Theo's problems. He treated her like she didn't have any feelings. Just because she often didn't was no reason to treat her that way.

Vivian didn't know how to explain to Theo what was going through her mind. She had tried to explain herself to him once before, and he just hadn't got it. He had accepted (to an extent) but he hadn't got it.

But she would try, anyway. He was about to walk out, so it wasn't like she could make things much worse. "You act like you do me a favour, being friends with me," she said, looking at Theo, a slight glare in her eyes to mask the vulnerability. "Its like you just tolerate me, and so I owe you or something, so I'm not allowed to be anything other than on my 'best behaviour'. So I'm not allowed to hate the fact that I was dragged into your relationship by your 'girlfriend', and was beaten up over it!" What Vivian had done to Daphne had been self-defence. Theo would have done the same, so he couldn't be mad at her for that. "And I'm not allowed to be... to be upset, that you run off to the girl that did it, to make sure she's okay?" Vivian was getting herself worked up, and she took a frustrated breath, running a hand through her hair. Around Theo she always seemed to 'feel' more than she ever did away from him.

"I was attacked for no good reason, and my best friend barely says a word about it. How can you not see that that is not okay?" Vivian would have expected Theo at the very least to have been mad at Daphne, but all he seemed to care about was that Daphne was all right.

Vivian looked away, shaking her head slightly, thinking 'What's the point?' . She knew Theo wouldn't get it, and it would be the same outcome over again. They were just replaying the moment right before Theo walked out of her life. How long were they going to do that for?

"I don't need your pity," she said, still not looking at him, "I'm not friends with you because I don't have anyone else." She was friends with Theo because she wanted to be. Even if she had a hundred friends she would still want to be friends with Theo.

For one of the first times in her life, Vivian wished she could cry. Not like she had that time in the dungeons, and not because she wanted to let something out, but because she was pretty sure that if she could just shed a tear, or show Theo more emotion, he'd understand better, he wouldn't want to leave, he'd hug her and- wait, what? No, she didn't want Theo to hug her... did she?

But either way, she couldn't, even as pretty much the only thing she cared about was crumbling away. Theo would never understand the cage not feeling the way others did put you in.

And the fact was that Theo simply didn't need her. She thought he saw her as a burden. Without her he could go and enjoy his life, his other friends, and Daphne Greengrass, without her 'stupid' problems getting in the way. But she would not have him stay her friend because he pitied her. She'd rather be alone than have that. Vivian sat down on a table usually used to write letters. This whole thing was exhausting. She still didn't look at Theo, instead she stared at a disgruntled looking owl, who they were apparently keeping awake.

"I don't care who you sleep with," she said, "go date the whole of Slytherin, for all I care. I just don't have the same low opinion of myself that you seem to. I don't think I deserve this. I'm not making you chose. You chose on your own. And despite all these years, you chose her."

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Theo waited at the door to see if Vivian would say anything, and for a few minutes she was quiet, not saying anything, and Theo thought that it might really be it. She was just going to let him walk out and their friendship would be, for lack of a better word, over. But then she began speaking, and the question she asked had Theo frown.

"Of course I don't think your feelings are stupid," he muttered immediately. And it was true, he didn't. Vivian's feelings weren't stupid. In fact, they were probably more raw than most people's because when she did feel it seemed to be more intense. She didn't let emotion get to her often, and when she did she didn't really seem to understand how to handle it. So she didn't know how to handle her emotions, so she didn't really understand why people who experienced the full range of emotions acted the way they did, did that make her stupid? Not in the slightest. Did it make her feelings stupid? Definitely not.

And her next words stung far more than Theo ever thought they would. Why? Because Theo couldn't believe that that was kind of the opinion he'd projected to Vivian. It was so... opposite of the truth. He didn't feel like he was doing her any kind of favor. He enjoyed her company, and he thought she was a riot. But he didn't merely tolerate her. His brows furrowed in a mixture of sadness and confusion as she continued, talking about how she had to be on her best behavior, and how wasn't allowed to be angry that Daphne beat her up, and that he checked if she was okay. His eyes narrowed once more, but the frown still remained on his face.

"You seem to forget the fact that I made sure you were okay first," he said calmly, not allowing his temper to get the best of him anymore. They were technically adult. They might as well start to act like it."It wasn't as if I took one look at you and went running to find her. I made sure you were okay first. I dueled you. I'm sorry that that wasn't good enough, but you shouldn't just pretend like it didn't happen."

Theo let out a small sigh as Vivian began to speak again. He glanced down at the floor. He supposed that he should have checked up on her again, but he also assumed that if something was wrong she would have come and found him. She'd never had a problem with it before, like after the fight. And as he lifted his eyes to her to reply he watched as she looked away. He couldn't quite place what she was thinking, but from the look on her face he knew it wasn't good. She said she didn't need his pity.

"Viv, I'm not friends with you because I pity you. Trust me, I'm not friends with people out of pity. I feel bad for you about your parents, sure, but I was friends with you long before I ever found out about that," he said, taking a few steps back into the owlery. He knew that he wasn't going anywhere. Not anymore.

His eyes were trained on Vivian as she began speaking again. His listened silently, but when she was done he didn't have to think before he spoke.

"I haven't chosen anyone. I made sure you were both okay. I... I won't apologize for spending time with her, Vivian. I care about her. I care about both of you. It's just... it's different care," he replied honestly, and it was. He cared about Vivian and Daphne, but it was in two completely different ways. "And I don't have a low opinion of you, either... I'm sorry that I act that way."

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Theo reminded Vivian of how he had stayed with her after she had come to him, and told him about the fight. He had checked that she was okay. She hadn't forgotten about that, and she wasn't pretending it hadn't happened.
"I know, Theo," she said, her voice not angry any more, although she still wished she knew how to talk to make him understand exactly where she was coming from. "But don't pretend you didn't want to go and find Daphne the second you heard we'd been in a fight. We both know it," she ran a hand through her hair. Her next words were sticking in her throat, but she forced them out anyway.
"I wanted you to be... I don't know, angry, okay? I wanted someone other than me to think that me having the shit beaten out of me was not okay, I wanted someone to be angry, I wanted someone to do something..." she trailed off, realising she wasn't really talking about her fight with Daphne any more. Because Daphne had certainly not 'beaten the shit' out of her. She was thinking about the times her mum had beaten her as a kid, which was odd because that was nothing to do with anything.

She forced herself back on topic. Theo was talking again, apologising, refuting Vivian's claims that he was friends with her out of pity. When Vivian had said those things, she never expected to have been wrong. So she just watched, and listened, and didn't say anything. Theo stepped back into the Owlery, just a few steps, but it was like an admission that the threat of him leaving was gone. Vivian was so relieved (another strange new feeling) that she could have hugged him. But Vivian would never hug Theo. She would never assume anyone would want to be hugged by her. It would have to have been Theo who took those sorts of steps; he was the authority on emotions and showing affection (which was saying something about Vivian's lack of knowledge on the subject).

"I'm not asking you to not spend time with her," she said, when Theo had finished speaking, although the words didn't come out as easily as she would have liked. Was she asking Theo not to spend time with Daphne? Was she not okay with him seeing her? She had no idea, and the thoughts (and possibly even feelings) surrounding that issue were irrational, so she pushed them away. Vivian was a lot of things; she was cold, she was calculating, other than Theo she didn't give a damn about anyone other than herself. She was blunt, she was insensitive, she was dark and twisted inside in a way no human being should ever be. She didn't want to do good things, or be a good person. She didn't, and she wasn't. But she wanted Theo to be happy. The thought of Theo being sad jarred with her... it didn't make her sad, it was more like it upset the natural order of things. It wasn't meant to be.

Vivian chewed her bottom lip. Sometimes Theo had a way of making her feel like a child. Probably because he often made her consider things like feelings, in which she had a child's experience and nothing more.
"I don't want always have to worry that you're going to walk out that door." she said, quietly. She felt like she was hanging onto Theo by the thinnest of threads. She felt like if there was an irreconcilable conflict between Theo's relationship with Daphne, and his friendship with her, that that thread would be cut. The past seven years would come to nothing.

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

"You're right," Theo admitted, nodding slowly. When he'd found out about the fight he and Vivian both knew who his main concern was. And yet he still stayed to make sure she was okay. Because she was his friend. And he'd known her a little longer than he'd known Daphne, truth be told. But that was all he said on the matter, the look on his face showed that he was sorry. He wasn't sure if that would translate to Vivian, but he'd apologized, and that was that.

But then Vivian began a different kind of rant. She said she wanted someone to be angry... Someone to do something. It wouldn't even have struck Theo as odd if she'd said him. But she hadn't. She'd said someone. His eyes narrowed slightly, but this time it was in confusion rather than anger. Where had this come from? What was it about? Vivian herself seemed to be startled slightly by the words as well.

"I did get angry. I was mad she didn't come to me first, I was mad she hurt you... It just didn't quite translate as well because I've seen you, I know what you're capable of. You ripped Daphne apart. And... I know you wouldn't have done it if she didn't first... and just... It's hard to focus when your mind's in two different places at once... I'm just sorry, ok?"

His apologies were all he could offer, really. And once they were out in the open his thoughts continued to trail on what she'd been talking about before. She wanted someone to be angry... about what? But then she began speaking once more, denying that she didn't want Theo to not spend time with Daphne. She left it at that and Theo smirked at her.

"Well that's certainly what it seems like, Viv," he flashed her a cheeky grin to show that he was joking before letting out a small laugh and falling silence once more. It was nice... to not be angry. It was nice to be able to let go of the pure rage he'd felt just a little while ago. It was nice to laugh again.

And then she said she didn't want to have to worry about him walking out the door, and he took a few more steps into the owlery, raising his brows as if to ask if she was serious. He shook his head, grinning at her.

"Vivian, I'm not going anywhere. If you ever need me, you know all the places I go. Just because I'm dating Daphne doesn't mean that's going to change," he said with a grin. And then a silence fell over them once more, and Theo furrowed his brow as a thought dawned on him.

"What are you doing in the owlery anyway?" he asked. It was a simple question really. But she said she hadn't been writing anyone. Had she gotten mail?

[/blockquote]

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Theo joked that it certainly seemed like Vivian didn't want Theo to be spending time with Daphne, and Vivian had to admit that he was right. It did seem that way, even to herself. She wished Daphne Greengrass had never entered the picture, then her friendship with Theo would never have met these complications. But what did she care, if Theo dated her? She'd still see him... maybe not as much, and maybe that was it? Maybe...

Truth be told, Vivian was accustomed to having all the attention on herself, and she wasn't used to sharing anyone. Theo was the only person she cared about. He was her only friend. So surely it was only natural that she not want to share him, at all.

She didn't speak, not having a witty retort in place for Theo's joke, because she was so off her guard. Theo stepped further into the owlery, saying that if she ever needed him he was there. She wasn't so sure, any more. Too many times lately, when she'd spent time with Theo, she'd ended up feeling like she just hadn't gotten what she needed. She didn't know if that was Theo, pulling away, or if it was her. Maybe she was changing. It spilled over into the rest of her life. Lately she got the distinct impression that something was missing. Of course, most of the time she was her normal self, unfeeling and uncaring. But sometimes in the early hours of the morning, or right before she went to sleep, she'd get a flash of feeling that at first had her thinking she must have eaten something bad. Like heartburn and an illness rolled up together.

Then Theo asked what she was doing in the owlery, and Vivian shook her head absent mindedly. "Nothing," she said, her voice slightly softer than normal, as though her mind were elsewhere. She wasn't totally back to her old self. "Just..." she picked up the letter, and let it finish the sentence for her, before dropping it back down on the desk in front of her. The address read;

' Vivian Blackwell, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...'

in shining green ink.
"Why are you here?" she asked, thinking of the letter Theo had shoved into his pocket when he saw her.

[THEODORE JACOB NOTT]

Vivian said she'd been doing nothing in the owlery, but then she held up a letter and Theo raised a slight brow in confusion. She'd gotten mail? She never got mail! That was an odd occurrence. Maybe that had something to do with her 'wanting someone to get angry' earlier? Could it? Perhaps, but Theo decided not to think on it too long before he finally voiced the question.

"You got post?" he said aloud, but the questioned sounded silly, even to him. Obviously she'd gotten post. He smirked slightly at the thought before she asked him what he was doing in the owlery. He shrugged lightly before going ahead and pulling the envelope out of his pocket and showing it to her. It didn't have an address or anything written on it. Just a blank white, slightly-crumbled envelope. He, too, shrugged lightly at the question.

"It's just a letter for someone... but I might not even send it. If it got into the wrong hands. Well, no good would come of it, let's just put it that way," he shrugged once more before placing the envelope back into his pocket. If anyone knew he was trying to correspond with a former death eater, even if it had matters having nothing to do with the war, he knew he'd be questioned for hours about his whereabouts and what they're planning, all of which Theo knew nothing about. He didn't know where Rabastan was, but he knew that the owls were smarter than they looked, too.

[VIVIAN HOPE BLACKWELL]

Theo asked if Vivian got post, his voice so incredulous it annoyed her slightly.
"Yes, I got post." she said, tersely, wrinkling her nose slightly "I can get post..." just because she never did... Theo didn't have to point it out, though. She could get post, just like anyone could get post. And besides, she didn't care if she had post or not. Obviously she didn't care, because she wasn't going to read the damn thing. And that would be the end of her post-getting adventures.
"I'm not going to read it," she said, tossing the letter to Theo, to illustrate how much of a big deal it wasn't that she got post, and to show him just how much she didn't care. "Rip it up, burn it, toss it out the window, whatever you want, since you seem to be so interested."

Theo went on to answering her question about what he was doing in the Owlery, and it seemed that neither of them were particularly decisive about their correspondence issues. But Theo seemed to want to send the letter. He was just worried that it would get into the wrong hands.
"Give it here," said Vivian, holding out a hand expectantly. When Theo didn't immediately comply she realised this might be one of those times when an explanation was in order. "My mum sends letters like that a lot, she puts a charm on them so they burn up if anyone but the recipient tries to open it. I know the charm. Give it here."

He could decide himself whether or not to send it, but Vivian could put the charm on the letter anyway. At least that way he wouldn't get into any trouble if it 'fell into the wrong hands'. Vivian was curious about what it was that Theo was writing that was such a secret, but she knew better than to ask outright. Theo would tell her if he wanted to. Still, she could give him a nudge...
"If you wanted to tell me why I'm doing this," she said, "That would be fine too."

note ;; I have no idea what's in that letter from Vivian's parents, so Theo had better not open it :')