You Promised {Ron&Ginny}

[ginny]

Ginny was sitting in the common room, waiting for her older brother.

Not her brother with the pregnant wife and the scarred face, who was currently in his cottage by the sea, enjoying a well earned peaceful life. Not the brother who had returned to Romania, to work with his one true love (the scaled kind). Not the brother who was back to working at the Ministry, although now doing much more good than he had in the past. Not the brother who had lost his other half. And certainly not the brother who she would never be waiting for again.

Ginny was waiting for her youngest brother, the only one left at Hogwarts, the only one who she could still really talk to. The others had careers, or their own family, or had left the country (or may as well have). Ron was the only brother Ginny had left at Hogwarts. But lately it had felt like he had never come back from that final battle. Or maybe the Ron they all knew had died, along with Fred, and what was living with them now was some sort of imposter. Because Ron was different. He had started Ginny thinking about what Hogwarts would be like next year, when she would be without her brothers.

Her last year at Hogwarts- the year when the Death Eaters had taken of the castle- had been the only time in Ginny's life since Ron's first year that she had been without at least one brother. And she didn't remember much of that year when she had been ten years old, waiting to go to Hogwarts. It felt like another lifetime ago. Before that Ginny had always had a least one brother at home, and after that she had always had at least one brother at Hogwarts. But now they had all left, and it seemed sometimes like Ron would join them. Next year she would really be on her own again, and she didn't want to think about that. As strong and as fiercely independent as Ginny was, she would rather have a brother around. That was who she was; Ginny Weasley, with the Weasley red hair, youngest of seven, and with six older brothers.

Five. Five older brothers.

She and Hermione had hatched a plan to make Ron talk. Ginny had locked Ron in a classroom, a classroom Hermione had been waiting in. There had been a lot of shouting, a lot of hurtful words, but when Ginny finally broke down and went in herself she had felt like maybe they had made some progress. But then Hermione had run from the room, and Ginny had been forced to go after her. Not that it had helped; Hermione had left the grounds and disapparated before Ginny could catch up to her. But before Ginny had left Ron she had made him promise that they would talk more later. And now it was later, and she was waiting for him. She hoped that all the progress she thought they had made earlier hadn't disappeared.

[ron]

It had been an exhausting day for Ronald Weasley. He had not had the day he had planned for at all. It was supposed to be a 'relaxing' day. At least relaxing in the sense of getting away from all of his problems. Every time he got the opportunity to escape Hogwarts into Hogsmead he took the chance. It was the only sanity he had left inside him. The only thing he felt that gave him a reason to make it to the next day was knowing he had the trips to gain more firewhiskey. And, then wash away all his pain. He could forget the world and everything that was wrong with it. One main thing wrong being that someone very important was no longer a part of it. His older brother Fred Weasley.

Being able to escape to Hogsmead and drink firewiskey was what kept him from breaking down into a fit of hysterics. Getting the firewhiskey and even stashing some away in a hidden trunk was also, what kept him going through the days. That and Qudditch. Something about flying in the air and keeping his mind only on the game was also a good forget the world procedure for Ronald Weasley. If only Qudditch was the only thing keeping him sane it would be perfectly okay. However, this was not at all the case he relied on the firewhiskey a bit too much now. Rather it be getting flat out drunk or just a huge gulp before classe, or having to deal with other's to make it through the day but without the firewhiskey and knowing he had it in the back of his mind he nearly would break down, not move, and just become someone who was not Ron Weasley at all. Then again, even with the firewhiskey he wasn't entirely the 'real' Ron Weasley either... rather doomed either way...

He had feared earlier he would never get his booze when he felt like he had been kidnapped by Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley. He broke down and nearly felt his world spiraling out of control when he was locked inside the room with Hermione. It had to be one of the hardest things he had to endure in the longest time. Hermione Granger was not someone he could see right now and at this moment inside his head he felt he would never be able to see her again. It was hard enough trying to avoid his sister and Harry let alone Hermione. The only thing that kept him able to talk to Harry with ease and Ginny with ease... as easy as it could be was the different scenario with them. Harry just a friend and Ginny his sister. Just something about Hermione made everything much harder for him when he had to confront emotions and how he knew or how he thought he knew he shouldn't have her in his life as anything important... so he did the only Ron thing to do... avoid her.

His eyes were rather red as he wobbled and crawled through the common room doors seeing his sister... no doubt waiting for him. Stupidly Ron had hoped she would forget talking to him and just leave him alone. And of course, he should have known better. Because now Ron was slightly drunk and it would not be as easy to hold his tongue. And, on top of that, he did have to watch his tongue around his baby sister... if he said the wrong thing... let's just say Ginny Weasley was not one to be reckoned with.

He tried his hardest to go into stealth mode... thinking if he were quiet enough she wouldn't notice him come in. Of course, he tripped over a chair, and stubbed his toe, letting out a "Ow," and then, on top of that as soon as he staggered back up he tripped over a table holding a light nearly knocking the light to the ground as he fell to the ground. "Ow, bloody hell," he cursed out, hitting his fist on the table, "Oh, bloody table, stupid blubbering idiot table, stupid... stupid.." he ranted on and on, already making his presence well known to his sister, as he made a slight fool of himself.

[ginny]

Ginny didn't hear when Ron entered the common room through the portrait hole. It was getting really late, and she had almost given up on him showing up at all. No, they hadn't specified a time and a place to meet, but she had made Ron promise to talk to her, and she truly thought he would keep that promise. She had hoped that maybe he would come looking for her, or just make himself available. But she hadn't seen him all day. He had just vanished, like he'd been doing for so many weeks.

The later it got, the greater the sinking feeling in Ginny's stomach had gotten. Hermione had vanished, and just left Ginny to deal with the Ron situation. Ginny had no idea why, or where she had gone. She and Harry seemed to have this huge distance between them. And besides, talking to him about Ron was a somewhat touchy subject. As messed up as Ron was, he was the only person she had thought she might be able to count on. And now she was feeling let down by him.

She didn't hear as he crept through the portrait hole, but she heard when he slammed into the table. She jumped, and turned around quickly, and by the light of the dying fire she saw Ron on the floor, cursing. She frowned, watching him, slightly confused. But then she realised what was happening, and her face turned cold. She didn't want to care if this was what he was like, she didn't want to give a damn! But Ginny couldn't hide the disappointment in her eyes as she looked at her big brother.

"You're drunk." she said, trying to sound as cold and detached and uncaring as she wanted to be, but even she could hear her own disappointment. Ginny Weasley felt grown up in a way not even the war had managed to do. Her youngest brother was a drunk, and there was no one left for her.

[ron]

"I'm not drunk! You're drunk!"

He staggered out slowly gaining balance as he stood to his feet. His eyes were bright red as was his cheeks. It was rather obvious he was embarrassed at falling flat to his face. It was rather obvious he was drunk. Ronald's attempt at throwing accusations back at her were also obviously not very appropriate nor accurate. Ginny was not at all drunk. In addition, it was pretty clear that Ron was. His accusation just made him look more pitiful after he had just fallen flat to his face.

Ron left out a huff as he eyes scanned the common room. Only a few third years were left in the common room staring at Ginny and Ron's interaction. And when he finally was to his feet he turned to glare at them.

"What are you looking at?" he bellowed out at the younger students, who quickly stuttered out nothings and ran up to their common room. Which left Ronald with a rather amused smile. He felt empowered when he was able to seem like the big guy on campus that people 'respected' and 'feared.' Ok, this was not totally true because that was more of a Slytherin personality trait but when he was in this state of mind he definitely liked feeling empowered. Even out of this state sometimes, it felt good to have people listen to him. However, it was more of a pride thing if anything at all. He liked to feel like he was someone important being Harry's friend and 'Just Another Weasley' he often felt overshadowed so once in a while it did feel good to be brought out of the shadows.

However... today was one of those days, he wished he could have stayed hidden. This did not work out to how he wanted though. Instead, Hermione and Ginny both insisted on cornering him multiple times today. He could not get away from them and he nearly wished he could have stolen Harry's invisibility cloak to get away from everyone. Jeez! The days he wanted to be noticed he never was noticed and the day he did not want to be noticed he was bloody noticed. Ronald Weasley could never win.

He turned to look at his sister as he walked past her backwards towards the boy’s dorm rooms giving her an awkward grin.

"Now if you'll excuse me my dear sisssterrrr," he dragged out the word sister giving an awkward smile. "It's late, and I must be sleeping!" he attempted a quick getaway hoping she would just leave him be for the night.

[ginny]

Ginny was disgusted as Ron accused her of being the one that was drunk. As though that was supposed to be funny, or something? And then he started shouting at third years, and Ginny turned away from him. He was being pathetic, trying to scare little kids to make himself feel like a big man.

That wasn't the brother she knew, and that wasn't anyone she wanted to get to know. Was this what Ron had been doing all this time? Drinking? She knew that Ron seemed to vanish from time to time, and wasn't 'himself'. Was all of that because he was drunk? That was a great way to honour their brothers memory; by being wasted all the time.

Ron started walking up towards the boys dormitories, and Ginny knew that she should try and make him stay. They needed to talk, but would he even remember any of it the next morning? It seemed like a long shot. She didn't know how she was supposed to get through to him when he was like this.

"Fine, Ron," she said, coldly, still not looking at him. "Piss off to bed, see if I care." she was getting angry, and turned around to look at him. "I don't want a brother who's a drunk, so just go!"

She knew it was harsh, but honestly, she felt like Ron deserved it. Maybe even needed it. After everything they had been through in the war, everything they had fought for, Ron was just pissing it all away. This seemed an odd way to repay the people who had died so they could have a better life, free from Voldemort. Their brother had died so they could have a better life. And Ron was drinking his away. Ginny turned away again, and stared at the fire. The common room was empty now, apart from her and Ron. The third years had scattered like flies, and Ginny didn't blame them. She wouldn't want to see the mess that was Ron Weasley either. It was painful to look at.

[ron]

He would have been overjoyed if it was not for the last line she added in. He was so close to getting his way. Just this once all he had wanted was for her to leave him be so he could sleep. He had been begging nearly all day for Ginny and Hermione to leave him alone. He finally had Hermione off his back but it took pissing her off to get her to leave him alone. Then here he was finally getting Ginny to stop nagging him but it never worked out for the better good. Because now not only had he hurt Hermione today it seemed like he hurt Ginny as well.

It was not as if Ronald purposely was trying to harm everyone around him. Deep down he knew how hard it was for everyone to lose Fred Weasley. He knew how hard the Battle was on everyone at Hogwarts. It wasn't only Ron that had lost someone important to him during this whole Voldomort affair. Everyone had some wounds from all of these horrible events. Ron knew this but it did not stop the way he thought. It did not stop him from wanting to distant himself from everyone. This didn’t mean he wanted to hurt everyone's feelings in the process either. He had not expected everyone to care so much that he was trying to push them away. He was just Ron Weasley after all...

However, Ron was stupid in his thoughts. He always assumed nobody really fully cared if he was in their life. Everyone was always so into Harry Potter and he was always "Just Another Weasley." or in another sense "Just Harry Potter's Best Friend." This is how he always saw himself and how his enemies saw him. Nevertheless, when it came to his family and his friends he should have known better. He should have known they would care but Ronald was stubborn with all his motives and the way he thought. And, right now he felt he did not really deserve to be anything important and to prove this point he was hurting people around him... and even though he didn't like hurting people he was practically doing whatever he had to do to push them away.

"I'm not drunk!" he bellowed out again.

He took a small step back his face falling to a frown. Her words had slightly stung him. This was what he had wanted though wasn't it? He wanted people to just give up on him and not care anymore. But now that Hermione walked away and Ginny was saying she didn't want him as a brother he slowly felt like he was getting damage sent to his heart.

"Face it! You don't want a Ronald brother drunk or not drunk!" he let out in frustration as well, still backing away from her towards the staircases. "You want Fred!" he blurted out, "And, I'm sorry! I Can't bring him back!" his face was bright red as he shook his head at her. It was the only retaliation he could think of at the time. The words she said stung him and his words just stumbled out like vomit.

[ginny]

At Ron's last words, Ginny felt like she had been punched in the gut. How could he say something like that? How could he bring up Fred? She didn't want to talk about Fred. She was holding it together, by not talking about her dead brother. Talking about him was not going to bring him back. He was gone, forever. Nothing was going to change that.

Ginny knew that better than anyone, she wasn't trying to make Ron bring Fred back, or be Fred somehow. Why did Ron think that she didn't want him as a brother? Did he think that she would rather he had died instead of Fred?

Ginny thought back to that battle, when Fred had died. She hadn't been there. She hadn't talked to Fred right before he died, or been there to do anything, or been with him in his final moments. But she knew what had happened; a curse had blown apart a wall of the castle, the bricks and stone had fallen on Fred. He hadn't even been killed in a duel, or by magic, fighting anyone. He had been killed when a wall collapsed. His death had been incidental. Collateral damage for the sake of blowing down a wall.

As much as Ginny wished Fred was still here, she didn't want anyone she knew to trade places with him. Especially not anyone in her family. How would that be any better? If Ron had died she might have had Fred screaming at her that he couldn't bring him back.

She turned back to the fire, her eyes closed, taking deep breaths, trying to steady herself. This could easily devolve into a screaming match, about Fred, and about Ron and his drinking, and then Ginny would start crying, and then she didn't know if she'd ever stop. She tried to get calm, but it was hard.

"Why do you think that?" she said, quietly, trying to fill the silence that had fallen after Ron's last word. "Why do you think I don't want you too?"

[ron]

"Isn't it obvious!"

Ron's temper was already slowly starting to come unkempt. His face was starting to boil over in his usual red tint.

Of course, it was not obvious. Hermione did not seem to understand his way of thinking and it would come to no surprise if Ginny did not either. His whole mind was just a big jumbled mess and he did not know how to explain his thoughts. Ron was never good at explaining what he was thinking and how he was feeling. When people finally figured it out it took a big fight and a Ron erupting in anger.

He wished he could explain it perfectly and he wished that when he did they would understand. He wished that people could see it his way. However, who was Ronald really kidding? Even if people saw it his way, it wouldn't matter. It would not matter if everyone agreed with Ron's messed up thinking right now. Even if people did, there was no changing what happened. Ron could not take Fred's place. Ron could not just die unless it was from self-harm and even if Ron thought about death, he would never do it knowing in the back of his mind that would not solve anything regarding Fred. Even if they could go back in time like he questioned Hermione earlier he knew it was impossible and worse and more things could happen then just Fred's death.

He let out a groan trying to think of the right words to say. Everything he was feeling was just too much for Ronald to handle. He was not equip for dealing with so many emotions without breaking down.

"Fred should be here not me, Ginny!" he let out, shaking his head, "He had more going for him! I'm just Ronald Weasley! I'm just another random part of the family! I have no reason to be part of the family!" he shook his head, backing up finally enough to hit the top of the stairs, of the boys dorms. "I bring nothing valuable like Fred, You, George, Percy, Bill, and Charlie... nothing..." his voice was unsteady as he tried not to lose it. Today was just too much for him to handle.

"I'm just Ron."

[ginny]

Ginny listened in silence, not sure of how much of Ron's ranting was how he really felt, or just the alcohol talking. Having said that, alcohol did often make people reveal what they really felt, and thought. Was all of this how Ron really felt, all the time? Or was this an exaggerated version? Ginny didn't see how he could really feel this way! How he could think those things! What had any of them done to make him think they didn't care, or that he wasn't special, or that he didn't matter, not compared to all his brothers. Ginny knew that growing up in a big family could sometimes leave you feeling ignored, and they had all felt that way at some point. And hadn't Ron more then come into his own?

In his last years at Hogwarts, he had been a prefect and a Quidditch hero, just like he had always wanted. He had more than lived up to the expectations of being a Weasley. And now, after everything he had done to defeat Voldemort; he had hunted Horcruxes, he had destroyed one of them himself, he had fought in the final battle, he had helped Harry every step of the way. It had been his idea to get the basalisk fangs from the Chamber of Secrets, for merlin's sake! Without those, Harry would never have been able to destroy the final Horcruxes, and Voldemort would never have been defeated.

But even without all of that, even if Ron hadn't done any of those things, no one in their family would have thought he wasn't important. Ginny was hurt to think that Ron thought they had all done such a bad job at being his family. He was making her feel like they were the ones who weren't good enough.

"How could you think all that?" she asked, still slightly angrily, turning back around to face Ron again. "When has anyone ever said you're not special, or not good enough? And don't talk about him like that!" she said, meaning Fred "Don't use him, to try and bolster your own idiotic point. If he were here, he'd... he'd... he'd have you dangling by the ceiling from your ankle!" That seemed like exactly the sort of thing Fred would do; hilarious, yet effective.

[ron]

She just did not understand. Nobody really understood what was going on in his head. He tried with Hermione and she didn't believe him. Look how that turned out? She stormed out of the room eventually and ran off from him. He supposed that was a good thing. Ron had nobody to turn to and nobody to talk to because nobody understood him. It seemed his first thoughts were right. He just needed to continue to push everyone away. Nobody was good for him and he wasn't good for anybody... it was the truth... a lonely truth but a truth none the less.

He shook his head his eyes averting to the ground. He was so close to being able to walk up those stairs and just collapse into his bed. When he was inside the classroom he wanted to down his sorrows in the booze. Now all he wanted to do was collapse into bed and down his sorrows into a deep, dark black sleep. Tonight if he was lucky, he wouldn't dream at all. However, sometimes nightmares came back and his sorrows came back in full force. Nevertheless, he was ok with taking those chances every night because a chance for being in a dark sleep was better than nothing. It was better than being awake and knowing he would think about it either way.

His face was still beat red with frustration, hurt, anger and so many more emotions. He remembered when he expressed to Hermione and Harry that Cho could not have so many emotions at once. But now here he was... he was having more emotions then he had ever had in his lifetime. At least Cho was somewhat able to hold herself together. Hermione was right in him not having a very good emotion span. Because as soon as it went over what he could handle he just broke down.

"I knew you wouldn't understand," he breathed out. "You just don't get it!" frustration was apparent inside his speech. "Ginny, Fred... he had a girlfriend. He had a future with her! He had a prank shop with his brother. He had a twin. He had a purpose! What is mine!?" his voice raised slightly and tomorrow morning he knew he would hope nobody heard their conversation. "I don't have one. I... I'm just Ron Weasley," he seemed to be very stuck on the whole 'Ron Weasley' argument again.

Ron often always felt lost in the spotlight. This was no different. Of course, as he had grown older it slowly drifted away because he had become a prefect and good at Qudditch, and even had a girlfriend at one point. He remembered being rather cocky his fifth and sixth year at Hogwarts. However, as soon as Hermione, Harry, and himself left Hogwarts and started a journey to look for horcruxs everything started going downhill for him again. He started to feel irrelevant yet again... and these thoughts often always came back to bring him down.

"Well, he isn't here! Now is he!" he spat out at her, shaking his head.

[ginny]

Ginny just shook her head, listening to Ron rant on about all that Fred had had. Honestly, it didn't make her feel any better to hear everything that Fred had lost. He had had a girlfriend, and a family that loved him, and a future, a joke shop he loved. Ginny couldn't help thinking about the life he might have had. He would have grown older, gotten married, had children. There were nieces and nephews she would never have. And Ron was basically rubbing it in, drawing attention to the fact that it wasn't just sad that Fred had died, it was a tragedy, as it always was when someone so young died. When someone who was old died, that was different; they had lived their life, they had had their time. All of Fred's time had been in front of him, and now he'd never get to have it.

"You're an idiot!" Ginny said, angrily. A part of her was sure that this wasn't the best way to handle Ron right now. She should probably be more sensitive, try to understand, calm him down, something like that. But the truth was Ron was being an idiot, she didn't agree with a word he was saying, and she didn't want to pretend that she did. Because it was all rubbish.

"You're an idiot," she repeated "what do you mean you don't 'have anything?' You have Hermione! You have Harry! You have me and Mum and Dad and Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, our whole family! And you have your whole life ahead of you! And you're throwing it away, and for what? An inferiority complex?" She ran a hand through her hair, not sure if what she was saying was too harsh. But it seemed like Ron needed harsh right now. He needed someone to shake him out of whatever it was he was going through.

"You have everything, Ron. You think the rest of us know what our purpose in life is? That's not how life works!" Really, Ginny didn't think that Ron had more to complain about than anyone else. Lots of people had lost loved ones. Some people didn't have a family, Ron's complaint was that his was so big he felt lost in it? Some people had no friends, and Ron had the most loyal friend anyone could ever hope for, and he was jealous because that friend was more famous than he was? And for something as horrible as his parents being killed when he was a baby! Ron had seen everything Harry went through. It seemed impossible to Ginny that he could still be jealous of him after all that.

And he didn't know what his purpose was. He didn't have a career. Instead, he had the world on a plate. After everything Ron had done to help defeat Voldemort he had so many doors opened up to him. Ron had always wanted to be an Auror; now he could become one, the minute he left Hogwarts.

"Everyone around you is doing everything they can to try and get you back to your old self, to try and help you, showing you that they care, so if you still think you don't matter then that's not our fault- you're just stupid!"

[ron]

This was just not going well at all.

Everything he seemed to say just would make Ginny angrier. This was a rather common element the two siblings had. They were rather quick to anger and when they were angry, it was not that easy to stop their anger from boiling over. She just kept calling him names not helping Ronald to keep his calm at all. Not that he was at a calm point in the first place. In fact, his emotions were all over the place. At any moment, he could be yelling or breaking down into a fit of tears. It was hard to know what Ron's next mood swing would be.

He stumbled over to the stairs a bit to further the gap between them.

"No! You! You are stupid!" he spattered out at her in a drunken slur. His face was distorted in what looked like he was struggling with the right words to say.

What was he supposed to say to her? He was not even in the right mind set to be defending himself. Not that if he was what he would be saying would be any better. Nevertheless, Ginny was right and he could try to argue with her but he would still be wrong in the end. In fact, everything he really was doing to cope with this pain was all wrong. He should be out living his life to the fullest because that is what Fred would want him to do. Fred honestly would be horribly angry with Ronald for acting the way he was. Fred had always been a get up and go kind of person. A person that tried to cheer other's up in devastating times and just live his life.

It was in fact true that Ron had so many things in his life that were important. He had people that cared about him. Hermione, Harry, and his family were enough people in this world that cared about him, he did not need more people... they truly were enough. However, he did not feel he deserved any of them. Because how could he? When Fred was dead and he was alive? He could not bare it. He could not bare the thought that he could go on living happily in his surroundings while Fred no longer could. It was heart wrenching.

"It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what I have or don't have, Ginny! It doesn't bloody matter!" his voice raised even louder now, "Out of all of us! All the Weasley's I should have been the one that died. Not Fred! Don't you see it Ginny! Don't you!?" he asked her, his eyes wide as he fell back on the stairs, tears enveloping in his eyes.

"Im Harry's best friend! Not Fred! I'm the one that chose to be his friend! I'm the one that brought him into our home! I'm the one that chose to get involved and attached to Harry dragging you all along with us! It was me! I ran off with Harry in his adventures... not Fred!" he shook his head not bothering to try to stand up on his feet now, "Fred should be here right now. I'm the Weasley that should have been bogged off! It should have been me!"

His voice slowly faltered as he let out a last, "Not Fred."

[ginny]

Ron stumbled towards her, his face distorted, and the fact that he was drunk hit Ginny all over again.

He was actually, completely, totally wasted. Her brother was a drunk. Ginny knew now that he had been drinking practically every day. That was why everyone was saying that Ron was acting differently, and now it was obvious why. She was so... disappointed. He had really let her down. Was she just supposed to hold herself up on her own? And not just herself, Ron too? She knew she had been right to block out the feelings about Fred, to not cry and just keep strong. Because clearly she couldn't afford to go to pieces, not when Ron was in this state.

It was just the two of them in their family at Hogwarts now, so even if her parents or her other siblings had been in any state to support her, they wouldn't be here to do so. Ron was all she had, and... well, looking at him now, she had no one.

"Ron," she said, exasperated "mum and dad were in the order the last time, too, before any of us were even born! Do you really think they wouldn't have joined up again, supported Dumbledore, regardless of what friend you brought home from school?"

For someone who thought that he was completely insignificant and meaningless, he sure thought a lot of his influence over everyone around them. He thought that his actions at eleven years old could compel his family to go to war, could lead to deaths. Ginny was sure she would be more sympathetic if Ron hadn't been drunk.

That just wasn't how they did things in their family. They didn't turn to drugs, or alcohol. No one in their family drank like Ron was doing now. He was destroying himself, and he was going to bring down the people who loved him too, whether he wanted to or not. Their parents would be heart broken if they could see Ron now, if they could see the path he had set himself on. He didn't even seem to want to stop drinking. He didn't want to hear any words of comfort, or to be made to feel better. He didn't want to get better. He just wanted to wallow in his own misery, be the reason Fred Weasley had died, and ruin his life.

[ron]

Ron's mind was a jumbled mess. Nothing was making sense for him anymore. It was a whirlwind of emotions and all of his thoughts were jumbled up inside his brain into a pile of garbage. He knew Ginny was not seeing the things the way he was. He knew she just could not feel the way he was feeling. He also knew that she was right...

She was right that his parents would have still fought in the battle. His parents were in the Order before Harry even came into their lives. From the young ages of just being born his parents were vivid in expressing to the young Weasley children what was right in the world and what was not. And what Voldomort was supporting was by far the most evil supporting group, and horrific ideas known to man. At least in the Wizarding World it seemed like the worst of the worse. He knew Hermione often expressed how horrible some wars were in the Muggle world in the past... however, Ronald never paid much attention to these conversations... or Muggle Studies. And, being in this war was just more close to home then any muggle war could possibly be. He was certain Hermione felt this way too but she always tried to find some sort of similarities with this war compared to others. But, that was just Hermione being Hermione... and her obsession with gaining new knowledge.

"No, I..."

He let out, and stopped himself. He didn't even know what to say at this point. His face beat red as a few tears trickled down his face. His head fell into his hands as he sunk down not looking at her. His head was pounding and he felt sick to his stomach.

He knew that nobody in his family felt forced to fight in this war. Everyone in his family did on their own will... even Percy. It was in the Weasley's blood to fight for what they believed in. And, each and every one of them put their lives at stake including Fred on their own doing. He knew they would have even if he had never made friends with Harry. However, sometimes, he just felt they would not have been as involved and attached to Harry as much as they were if he had not ever brought Harry home. Ginny fell in love with Harry. Fred and George picked on Harry like a brother, and helped Harry escape the dreaded Dursley's home in their second year.

But, at the end of it all, Ron could not continue to ask what ifs. There were no what ifs. What happened, happened and there was no turning back.

He finally lifted his head up to look at his younger sister, his face stained with red and tears, let out a sigh of frustration.

"How can I go on with my life when he can't? How can I try to be happy when Fred no longer can be?" he questioned, shaking his head. "It... It just doesn't seem possible, and if it is, it doesn't seem right... nothing seems right anymore..." he finished with.

[ginny]

Ginny watched in horror as Ron started to cry. Only a moment ago he had been angry, and now he was in tears. Ginny could only remember seeing Ron cry once before, and that had been when Fred had died.

Ginny looked away, chewing her bottom lip and crossing her arms across her body. She didn't want to see Ron cry, because that would only make her get emotional. She felt like if she started to cry herself, then she would lose control. She didn't know if she would be able to stop. Ginny did not want to go back to the way she had felt right after Fred had died. That had been... well, it had been intolerable. She refused to feel that way again.

She didn't know if Ron's tears were genuine, or if they were alcohol fuelled. She suspected that the alcohol was at least partially to blame, and again it made her less sympathetic. He had done this to himself, he had chosen to go to pieces when he picked up the bottle.

And then Ron started voicing everything Ginny felt, and she shook her head, still not looking at him, as though denying his words. She tried to listen to them with a detached interest, but the way Ron's voice shook was making it difficult.

"I don't know," she said "I don't have any answers, Ron." She wished Hermione was here. Hermione would know what to do, and what to say to Ron. She always had answers. She would be able to give him the emotional support he needed, if only Ron would let her. But Hermione had vanished, and Ginny had no idea where she was. That was another concern, but Ron was the more immediate one right now.

"Nobody has any answers, but not everyone turns into a drunk!" She said, somewhat cruelly. If Ron hadn't been horribly intoxicated, then Ginny would have acted differently. But she just wasn't equipped to handle this. Another reason why Hermione should be here, or maybe even Harry.